Contact Us

Use the form on the right to contact Nancy Coughlin directly.

 

98 North Ave
Webster, NY, 14580
United States

(585) 315-6674

We can overcome your barriers--together.  We all experience bumps in the road.  Life is hard, but you don't have to do it alone.  Let's make a plan.

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Discernment Counseling

My goal is to equip you with the right tools to achieve greater emotional awareness to help you make the best decision.

What is discernment counseling?  Who is it for?

Are you considering leaving your marriage?  Has your spouse expressed a desire to get divorced?  Are you wanting to save the marriage?  Discernment counseling is a way for couples to look at their options before making a final decision about divorce.  It's a good fit for couples where one person is considering leaving the marriage (the 'leaning out' person), and the other person wishes to save the marriage (the 'leaning in' person).

Discernment counseling is NOT couples counseling; it's a decision-making process to help you gain clarity and confidence to move forward in a direction and a 360 degree view of the relationship.  It's not to solve problems in the marriage. (That's what would happen in couples counseling.)  It's to help you decide if you want to work on solving the problems.  It involves me having individual conversations with each of you versus together, as in couples counseling.  And it's a short-term process, lasting about 1-5 sessions.

Discernment counseling is a new process that was developed by William Doherty, PhD at the Doherty Relationship Institute, through which I was trained.  It's exciting for me to offer this service because, prior to this, couples would sign up for couples counseling, only to be frustrated and discouraged.  Why?  Couples counseling is appropriate if BOTH people are committed to working on the marriage, not if one person is leaning out (considering leaving).

What should I expect?

The process focuses on 3 paths--ending the relationship; committing to a 6-month, all-out effort of couples counseling to improve the marriage or relationship OR staying the course and deciding later.

The sessions involve mostly individual conversations, so I meet with each of you separately.  And we come together to give a summary of what you're learning in the conversations.  

I help both of you see your individual contributions to the problems and possible solutions.

Discernment counseling is successful when you have clarity and confidence in your decision and when you more fully understand what's happened to your relationship.

How many sessions are there?  What's the cost?

It can be as brief as one session or as long as five sessions.  The sessions are usually 1 1/2 -2 hours.  Due to the session length, discernment counseling is not covered by insurance.  The first session is 2 hours and the fee for this is $220.  Every visit thereafter is 1 and 1/2 hours for a fee of $165.  

How do i sign up?

The process starts with a brief phone conversation with me.  I'll ask some questions and then if the process is a fit, you can talk to your partner about the discernment counseling process.  We'll set up a time for a phone conversation with your partner and go from there!